would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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