Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
