everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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