Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize