i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
