Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
