so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
