What a fucking waste of an outfit
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
