He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Randomize
