one might say we're banned from that church
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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