Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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