Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
