Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
