I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Randomize
