I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Of course I have a pirate flag
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
