oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
