Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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