I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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