Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
