saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
