Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
