Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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