I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
