Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
