going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
