Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I'd cum for enchiladas.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
