ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
