we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
