Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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