There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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