when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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