The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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