i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
