well I can't set my house on fire every night
What did we do last night that was yellow?
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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