i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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