thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Randomize
