Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Your cock deserves a montage
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
