Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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