you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
only you would photoshop your dick
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
