your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Someone came in the potted fern
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Randomize
