Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize
