Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
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