Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
