Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
