Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
