I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize