Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
BRING THE BAGELS
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
