We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
