just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Ladies don't puke and tell
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
