im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
