If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
