theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
