all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize