We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Randomize
