Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
