Im at strip club and am horny
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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