And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
